because everyone has a selfish angle

this occurred to me because it is of personal importance: what of the mentally ill, locked in wards?

really, this is one time i want more information and one time the news has more, not just repetitions of the same stuff. and we still don't know so much. there is no organization.

it is like this happened in mexico or something. bush acted like it was a little tornado. does nothing wipe the shit eating grin off his face? what the fuck in his life is so damn funny (besides the mirror's image)?

a plant with no name

fifty cents for the plant, the rocks were free, the bowl was a gift from a friend. not bad.

frell

the wee infection hasn't died, it has spread to the next healthy tooth. oh the pain. oh the angst.

Satellite Imagery of New Orleans before and after Hurricane Katrina

Satellite Imagery of New Orleans before and after Hurricane Katrina

in case you are like most of us and are having a hard time wrapping your head around the devastation.

and at http://www.livejournal.com/users/wicked_wish/582898.html you will find a very succinct blog entry about NOLA. one of those things that makes you think and shows you a different side than the media is showing.

so of course the news is on

the store i bought doc a shirt from in 97 is now on fire. corner of bourbon and canal street.

my prayers increase and when i get home i will have many new candles.

which reminds me, the day the hurricane hit, i said a prayer and lit a candle for new orleans. it burned barely, on the brink of going out all day. we had to empty the extra wax to keep it going. at midnight doc noticed it started burning strongly again, and was no more problem until it burned itself out last night.

doc says, "i guess your prayer just wasn't going to be answered the way you wanted."

he may not believe in magic (i'm the same way, i say the prayers and mean them but i couldn't tell you conclusively it does any real good, it settles my mind), but he does believe in me.

today

after months of missing each other, i am finally going to see doc rev today. hopefully to stop the seroquel altogether. the geodon is fine. i need more xanax each month since the geodon makes me hyper sometimes.

and today i start packing. even if we aren't going to phoenix, we found a place near here that is brand new and $200 a month cheaper (with 200 more square feet). and it would be a cheap move, rent a pickup from u-haul and we're there. so packing it is. we've been hoarding boxes for the past few months, my living room and doc's room are full of them. i can fill those with books and CDs and video tapes that we don't watch. some kitchen stuff we don't use. craft supplies i'm not working with, and clothes. we have a lot of clothes. though if we move to the place nearby, clothes go into rubbish bags.

AMERICAblog: Because a great nation deserves the truth

AMERICAblog: Because a great nation deserves the truth: "Bush took New Orleans disaster funds and used them for the Iraq war and for his tax cuts"

nice

i love americablog, by the way.

cam is on

Crafters United. Creative Minds Join Forces for Hurricane Katrina Relief.

Crafters United. Creative Minds Join Forces for Hurricane Katrina Relief.

i just donated two journals and a necklace to http://craftrevolution.com/craftersunited.htm

so the cloth journal and the u2 journal will be available through them and all money will go to disaster relief for the south.

so please, if you wanted these, please buy them once they are posted, the information you need is at the above link. i will include a groovy free bonus to whomever purchases these things from these guys.

thanks everyone

sometimes i amaze even myself

some days most things i do are a shout out to some damn thing or other.

simply stupefying how i was able to wash off the murk of last night with some sleep. i bet if i had a cup of coffee i'd be able to fly.

and with the magic of the internet, coffee is now brewing.

getting that book done, so i can say i have done something, no matter how small, with my writing lately. because i haven't been writing poetry so much. here and there one comes up, i post it in my livejournal and then work on it over time, then usually forget about it.

so here now i've done something constructive.

next on the list, after the coffee is in my grubby hands, is revamping my ebay sales and put part of the profit automatically to the red cross for the hurricane kat survivors. more staring at the screen editing. maybe that is what tuesdays are for.

poetry, mine

the poetry collection is done and ready, should you be interested, the link is http://www.lulu.com/content/158067

color me accomplished, and no, i don't care if this sells online, i will eventually buy myself a couple of copies to sell when i go out reading and i will get one for me. you can also download it for a fraction of the price.

i really took care to make sure only the best are in this book and spent hours checking it, so the mistakes, if any, are rare, this is a quality piece.

eggs in one basket

once again the morning has brought me advice and support. my head is clear and i'm thinking again.

lulu.com is a website where you can publish your own work. so that is what i am doing. i've been working on a couple of picture books, but decided this morning to finally publish the volume i created and once printed out to take to readings.

as much as i hate proofreading, i'm enjoying it today.

i have to remember i have talents in many areas, and to concentrate on just one area is to stifle myself and bring to the surface small failures which are really just a way of life telling me to branch out a bit.

the 20 people showed up to my last posting, which was also posted in my livejournal because i wanted to reach all 20.

and the wise man pointed out that the adoration of millions usually comes with small deaths inside myself. i won't dumb myself down.

i will, however, work harder to make my pieces more finished looking and worth buying. i will work on getting to the monday night open mic. i will work on publishing the huge digital pile of things that are begging to be published.

even going so far as publishing my first "book" of poems. from before 2000. because they are worth being seen and read. and i know that poetry doesn't sell. but having a copy for myself, and a few to sell at readings and knowing it is out there and available and i put time into it will be worth the bloody spell checks.

speed

it never ceases to amaze me how fast i can go from a high to desperate.

all that medication, i should't be feeling anything at all.

i feel like new orleans. not the residents, the city.

and now

and now comes the low. i'm going to go wallow in it. i've been up so long . . . started thinking too much of myself. and now it all crashes around me.

don't you wish you were me? i know i do.

handbound blank journals

only $15 including US shipping!
these are real records

i only accept pay pal at cydniey@zenweb.net

you can also email me there to ask questions
all are one of a kind, so get them fast!

("B" is bound with tiny metal hinges!)
comment here if interested

cooking

previously a career, now just a healthy hobby. there is a scone recipe that i'm making posted on cydniey.livejournal.com. and i just made a cucumber dill pasta salad with garbanzo beans that is To Die For. the scone recipe is from the pooh cook book and the salad, i made that myself.

the basis of any good and most commercial pasta salads is a decent vinagrette type commercial salad dressing. kraft zesty italian is my favorite, but any oil and vinegar dressing will do. the trick is to season on top of that. think of the dressing as your salt and pepper for the dish. so you can add garlic, minced onion, chili powder, curry powder (good if you have some shredded chicken in the salad).

i'm into dill right now, so dill goes into almost everything. we had no meat to put in it (like tuna or salmon or crab meat), and were out of carrots which are my main vegetable. so i shredded some cuke and opened a can of garbanzo beans. i also added some shredded cheddar cheese. the salad rocks and it hasn't even melded yet.

and that is another key to a great pasta salad, letting it sit. for a day at least. refrigerated. then the flavors get into the beans and the pasta and any other veggies you have in there. i also like to add some minced roasted red pepper . . . but doc is on a veggie run now so it was more a matter of cleaning out the fridge.

which brings us to the versatility of the pasta salad.

and what about that fancy red linguini salad? same dressing, add a few tablespoons of paprika and let the salad sit.

other salads you ask? what about that mayo based curried turkey salad that was bright yellow? chicken salad with turkey, a teaspoon of curry or more to taste and yellow food coloring, maybe a few golden raisins and some diced celery.

hate celery threads? you can use a vegetable peeler to rid yourself of them.

NOLA cam

http://www.nola.com/fqcam/

i am not into human suffering, i am, however, very very into natural disasters. and as horrible and sad as this hurricane in in human and animal terms, in terms of the way the earth works, and with the cam age, we have a unique thus far opportunity to watch it happen.

my prayers are for those in the path of kat. and my money will be behind the recovery efforts.

in the mean time, i have every intention of staying up until the news channels lose their feeds.

pleading

for the love of all that is sacred will someone tell me what this memory is? i listen to the song and it skirts around the edge of my mind and i can't get a hold of it. i don't care if it hurts. i don't care. i just want to know what it is, where it came from.

simple minds - someone, somewhere in summertime

please, even a hint.

hurricane

i'm now convinced that all my hurricane friends are safe and sound in other places. i may be eating my words and hosting many roommates if new orleans really is destroyed, but those i love are safe.

may the same be true for you. all the candles burn for new orleans tonight.

eck, sundays

doc went in to work overtime. so bored.

i made a book, and posted a book

i ate red beans and rice for my daily meal. i took my antibiotics, which, by the way, smell like dog poo when i open the bottle. for all that you'd think they would work a bit faster.

i want to make another book but i am waiting for inspiration to hit again. i've done a hinged book and record books, cd books, and now a blue foil book. that is a high curve. so i'm waiting for the next idea. hmm i do have that basket of fabric, and i've already made a silk book, maybe a cordouroy book. i've got a butt load of tartan plaid fabric. i could make a library of plaid books. maybe plaid and black duct tape.

fox news is really rabid about this hurricane. to hear them tell it, everyone, including shepard smith, is going to die. he's reporting like it is his last story. the payoff? smith asked someone a question live via videophone and they used the f word in their reply. ten minutes of apologies later . . . heh.

little blue book

i love this, the idea hit me as i was cleaning, handmade paper embellishments on blue foil and blue duct tape hand bound blank journal. i even made it on cam. i feel so clever.

right

oh look, cyd doesn't fit in anywhere. like that is anything new.

the end

i was deleted by the hardcore childfree community i was a part of. it was only a matter of time. several members were against me because i had a child 16 years ago, and having a child, even against your will is against the rules. i was open about it and enjoyed my time there.

remember the coolest place

"monkeynamedjack.etsy.com"

i listed some new things.

if you haven't visited etsy.com, it is an online hub of DIY and handmade items, with the focus on quality and creativity instead of rock bottom deals like auction sites.

if you are a DIYer and want to sell your stuff, etsy is free until november since it is still in its beta phase. so jump in with both feet and remember to keep your pictures of great quality to up the chance of having your item featured on the front page.

unhinged

i was all full of myself, i made a book and bound it with hinges! i thought, and still think that it was the coolest thing ever, and when i make my record journal for myself, i'm going to do it that way, even though it is a pain in the ass to do the mini rivets on the records, this will be my journal, after all.

so i make this journal and i need a black paper for the cover, so i choose the martini paper. the comments were not all positive. one person couldn't tell what the picture was trying to convey, one thought i should have painted the hinges red or green to match the olives (which is a valid idea if you are into a lot of contrast, i'm a black on black kind of girl), another said the hinges detracted from the . . . i don't know, the martini paper i got for 50 cents a sheet?

so i'm confused all around. not upset, i asked for critique and i got it, but i'm having a hard time putting everything together to find a middle ground that isn't what i already have. and i really can't. part of me is always trying to find the next really cool DIY thing and make it better. so input from people is really appreciated, the negative almost more than the positive (so long as it is all constructive), but sometimes, like this, it is hard to boil the opinions down.

and you know what? i'm trying to over explain everything because someone came in here and started projecting their stuff on me. and that is really bullshit, but it affects me in little ways, like going out of my way to be neutral. and this blog is only a few weeks old and already i'm attracting this sort of person. makes me wonder if i should change my keywords. i don't owe anyone anything just because they agreed with something i wrote.

and if you are going to get into a personal thing with me, or try to, since i'm not actively responding to this person because it is too personal for someone to pry into, especially when they are so completely off the mark but so convinced they are not. there is no convincing someone like that other wise. but really, if you're going to get into the personal, learn a little about me first. and the handful of entries on this blog don't do that. google my name, learn who i am if you want to get into the deeper stuff. i've only lived the last 6 years live on the internet, it isn't hard to find out more.

and that endeth that subject.

we were talking about taking feedback and making it useful before i got off on that tangent. so i try to take all of it and use it to improve my designs or my technique. all of the best stuff i learn/create/design comes first from other people. i am very easily inspired and try to stay very open to what other people are thinking or not thinking about my work. sometimes it drives me to stay in a niche, sometimes it brings out my ability for universal appeal. either way, it is a winning thing that far balances out any uneccessary negativity that may result from my rather random methods.

yay for family

or, you know, the one family member that isn't poison.

i talked to my sister today. they are doing well, her and her man. they are car shopping, she is looking for a promotion, things are going well with her. that makes me happy and even more proud.

i miss her though. ever since she left the state. we were just getting to really know each other when she left. though i totally understand it. if my dad were chasing me around where i lived out of state, i'd go further away, too. i swear i've never know what that man is thinking.

"who will care for you when you're older?" bahahahahaha. we'll be killing each other over who gets to pull the plug. and that is provided we even know about it. else it will be my brothers fighting over it. and you know none of us will ever go to any home that takes them in. they are too toxic to live to old age, i keep telling myself that. and yet the obits remain clean of their cursed names.

god i've never packed so much hate verbage into such a dead issue.

i'm glad my sister is doing well.

tuna

2 cans chunk white albacore
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tstp black pepper
1/2 tsp galic powder
1 tsp dried dill weed
3-4 tbsp mayonnaise

yummy! i like it simple, no relish or olives. if i happen to have fresh cilantro or parsley i'll mince it and add it. fresh dill is also fabulous instead of the dried.

you know, now that i've gotten plants to grow here (robert and the twins are doing well and getting bigger and bigger), i need to think about a large pot for an herb garden. we have three windows perfect for plants. two are occupied. i think i'll start looking for a thing to recycle into an herb planter.

brand new

lined with liner notes, laminated, U2, "unforgettable fire" record cover jewelry box with glass feet and metal eyelets


hinged martini blank journal. metal hinges and brads make this completely unique

so selfish of me

US heading for house price crash, Greenspan tells buyers - Economics - Times Online

US heading for house price crash, Greenspan tells buyers - Economics - Times Online: "US heading for house price crash, Greenspan tells buyers"

as a devoted renter, this makes me hopeful, since most houses here have shot up to $1200 a month from $900 a month, and apartment prices skyrocketing, $900 a month for a 700 sq foot 2 bedroom.

we've been holding onto our $800 a month 850 sq foot 2 bedroom for four years.

a housing crash would let us upgrade to a house, because really, it is time for us to be back in a house again. we are people who like to spread out and be comfortable. i've been blessed with several large antique pieces of furniture and a library full of shelves for my books. here we have to maintain a storage place and this place is so crowded that we live in the studio, kitchen and my room, leaving the living room and the other bedroom full of spare furniture we keep putting off getting rid of.

i know, we need to get rid of some things, which i have planned. we need to get to storage, see what is there and add stuff. i need to make a friend with a truck who likes my cooking.

what about those record books? heh? i love the U2 one and the only thing that keeps me from keeping it is the knowledge that i have a copy of their first also all scratched and abused, and that one is for me. i think my next set will be some old disney ones that look like they were tap danced on. doc is insisting i scan all the record labels so i can make replicas in the future.

the hurricane passed my florida friends. now it is on it's way to new orleans, place of one of my literary and personality heroes: poppy z. brite, and also the place of several friends. all have the same in common, they aren't leaving. now i hear that the superdome may be used as a shelter. hotels are booked six hours out of new orleans. most of my friends are in houses that have stood for half a century or more. i hope they are all okay.

ummmm

yeah, i couldn't think of a snappy title, i'm slipping.

my head is still full of angry bacteria. now my whole face has a light swelling. i just don't care. i can only stress out about one thing for only so long. it is changing and getting slowly better.

i can smell the magic elixir in the other room brewing. cinnamon hazelnut dark roast. doc is too good to me.

this week will be the week of the book. i have seven books to bind and cover. nice.

i have a necklace to make for someone, the beads should be here today, provided Postal McGrumpypants sees fit to deliver it to me. giggle. i gave him a stupid name . . . better than the letter of complaint i was going to send to his supervisor. that has been shelved until he bolluxes another delivery. very simple, package comes, fill out orange paper, put it in box, put packages in management office. he just doesn't tell me when the packages get here. stupid mean man.

but you get a lot of that. people are getting meaner. especially strangers. it used to be you were polite to strangers and they were polite to you. not so much anymore. disturbing. one cannot live their lives the best they can, they have to worry over strangers getting in their faces and pushing themselves on them. fucked up and scary.

in other news, boo is happy with his cage sterilization. i put extra fluff in his side bed, and he uses it to block up the toob behind him while he sleeps. that is too ingenious.

funny how moving the keyboard just a bit to the left, it will frell up my entire typing experience. also funny that i type more accurately when i am looking at the tv than when i look at the computer screen.

new journals

handbound blank journals

feels so good

it is official: crazy or no, pain or no, i am not a whole person if i am not creating.

i'm just making books and it feels so good and the last few days, necklaces not withstanding, feel so empty.

moving my inventory to another set of shelves made me feel better too. i've got some nice stuff. if we stay here i'm taking it to shops to sell. plus, monkey named jack will be up by the end of the year. i'll have to do all my holiday business through private orders and etsy and ebay. etsy is still being surfed mainly by those of us who are selling, i'm waiting to see if the rest of the world has any use for it.

sweet jesus, it's true!

my spaghetti strap tank top collection fits me (no, not all at the same time)!! i wouldn't leave the house in them (unlike most of the female population of las vegas, who would and worse), but i can wear them around the house and since i don't leave the house and consequently am often around the house, this is fucking fabulous!!!!

cam is on

cydniey is a fabulous disaster: live art cam page

childfree

wow. i belong to a group of fellow non-breeders.

and i am often amazed at the hatred and bile that is spat at members of the group and the group itself. i don't understand it. i just read this email posted in the group and i didn't even understand it aside from the inference that the childfree are broke, fat furries. what the fuck is that about?

i think breeder bingo is funny. but i know it comes from everyone, not just those endowed with children. i don't get it usually.

we, doc and i, don't get bingoed usually. his parents have grandkids already, they told us not to feel pressure or rush to have kids. we told them we didn't want kids. end of story.

people we know, well, they know me. i'm still a child. there is no way in the world i would subject a child to that. or to the medications i have to take to maintain.

and i'm not even in strict keeping with the rules there, i had a child, against my will and wishes when i was 19 and it was adopted. i've told the community, and been allowed to stay. because i just watch. i don't say much. it is one of those things where, though i share some beliefs and some ideals with a group, i don't completely don't fit in, since i'm not persecuted by it. so i can watch and get a sense of what it is for other people.

root canal update

the swelling has shifted! and gone down. after today on the medication it should be near gone tomorrow. the pain is gone, nearly. ibuprophen should be all i need today.

the world gets back together today. cleaning, packing up mail, lots of things that i haven't been doing. back to setting up projects that can be done overnight.

i thinki'll try on other clothes today and see how much i can expand my wearable wardrobe. i should be a solid size 14 now. down about two sizes. my hips are back to 38 from 40. theoretically this should offer me more clothes from my closet.

that was short

didn't stay on cam long, i was shaking too bad to work. i did make one necklace. i always say i'm going to do a three strand, since i have three stranded clasps, and end up liking the first one i do too much to clutter it up.

tomorrow, now that the worry and the pain are gone, this place will be back to normal. i have a dozen packages to send out, listings to place at etsy.com, an ebay store to change over and four hundred loads of laundry to fold. though, i have to say the last one has gotten fun now that more clothes fit on me.

i'm attributing the shakes to low blood sugar, the antibiotics and stress made me too naseous to eat today. i have some brownies in front of me but they don't at all tempt. once i have the strength and presence of mind to work out daily again, this little starvation by teeth festival will come to truly benefit me. and it is going to last so long, that the new habit of not munching will be in place.

see, i got the upper right done. still have the four weeks to get the crowns on. then i have a six week thing to get the left upper bridge permanently in place. hopefully i can overlap the appointments for prepping the crowns and the bridge. if we're still here when that all ends, it will be time to fill and veneer what ever is left. but in four weeks, i should be able to eat more than pudding, mac and cheese, tuna and pudding. though i really don't eat much differently, except the pudding, that is unusual and perhaps why i mention it twice.

tomorrow night is find-doc-a-job-here night. a festival of friday night sci fi and resume submission on a grand scale. if i want to stay here i have to find options for that. the next place he is interviewing for is much less and hour and the one that was with the same company passed over him for no given reason. so vegas is looking bad in the odds right now and i have to raise them a little bit.

oh, and hamster cage cleaning tomorrow. the full deal. take the cage apart and sanitize it. daytime in the ball for boo. he'll be grumpy for a bit but then get excited because day time in the ball only happens when the cage is cleaned. he is always out in the ball at night, when he is awake. i only wake him for important things.

in other pets, jack has this endearing way of opening his mouth slightly while purring and amplifying the sound of the purr. it is far and away the cutest thing a cat has ever done in my presence (yes it is cuter than chloe meowing every time somone sneezes like she is saying 'bless you') and today while i was spending cuddle time with henry, who spends most of his time with jack, he opened his mouth while purring. i could have died, he's a fat cat so his purr hasn't been loud since he was a kitten. and today i heard it out loud, as well as his wheezing. oh, and this weekend we are switching their food over to iams multicat from the meow crap we've been feeding them during these lean months. they'll be happy. they hate the cheap stuff. they were raised on iams.

cydniey is a fabulous disaster: live art cam page

the cam is on

antibiotic failure

new, stronger antibiotics and a postponed crown set appointment are told to be the cure. good. i'm over worrying about this.

now we just have to figure out how to get it done by the time we move.

at my cutest

the deal

the dentist wants me in the office Yesterday to find out what is wrong. i have until 6:15 to get in there today, the staff is staying because it is an emergency.

see how calmly i wrote that? you can't even tell how badly i'm shaking.

i'm trying to get through to doc via email so he knows to hustle home so he can get me there.

i'll be off crying on my bed now.

hurricane watch

i have friends in florida that i care so much about i obsessively watch all hurricane happenings.

or maybe i obsessively watch hurricanes and my friends moved there to get my attention.

either way, on with the weather! (though i am jealous because though we have had cloud cover all week, we've seen no rain).

damn damn damn

i emailed doc and asked him to call the dentist. my face is swollen up still. the tooth pain is gone, the face itself hurts. i am officially over my fear of plastic surgery. really, the results of a tit lift are nothing compared to having my eye half swollen shut. and when it goes down it leaves an empty flap of skin in the upper corner of my eye.

now i don't have flawless looks or even classic beauty, but having a flap of swollen flesh over your eye will put a damper in anyone's self esteem.

so right now i'm in the using-dark-humor phase so i don't freak out because what i would really like to do is freak out.

end of a wasted day

i ironed some shirts for doc for his interview tomorrow (no, he will only wear one). and other than that, didn't do anything else but read and cry and whine.

i don't want to go to sleep because i'm afraid i'll wake up just as swollen as i did this morning. but logic tells me that tomorrow i should see an improvement. the swelling around the eye has gone down a bit (and i am icing it every hour), but has left the skin loose there and it's . . . it upsets me just thinking about it so i won't.

there is a bond movie on, as there has been all summer.

S came over tonight and i bribed him to go get me some strawberry soda. then we all hung out for a while. doc is sleeping now and i hope to follow. i've come to terms with being up at dawn, or still awake, but the deep night darkness isn't at all to my taste.

the move to phoenix is back on the table. only with a leave date of the end of september, not a few days from now. since we already know where we would live if we moved there i'm not so stressed about it. though doc agrees with me now that staying for the time being is the better thing. we just want options. and i want a little time.

if we are staying here, i am definitely redoing my room. i've spent too much time sleepless and frustrated, enough that i don't want to lay down unless i am falling down tired. a bit of a shake up with the furniture and walls would help that. i need to find apple green flat sheets for the one wall. or dye the white sheets i have. hmmm.

blah

parts of my upper lip and nose are still numb, while other parts are just starting to itch and come back to life. my eye is still all deformed looking but my cheek is less chipmunk girl. the pain isn't bad except when i slam my teeth together. resulting in my not opening my mouth much.

it has been very quiet here.

enough

oh how the MSM is riled about cindy sheehan hooking up with groups that believe the same, labeled left wing groups.

and when the parents of the braindead girl (how soon i forget the names) hooked up with several right wing fundie nuts, no one said boo about it. they were admired for finding like minded political groups to help them further their cause.

but not sheehan, no, since she opposes the president, doing the exact same thing is bad.

i'm really failing to see the liberal bias the MSM is so often criticized for.

just minding my own business

i was coughing. just coughing. somehow my newly traumatized teeth slammed against their lower counterparts and WHAM - instant cry-like-a-baby. crying so hard i did it again. then, the fun really started, as my tear duct on the one side is still all buried in swollen eyelid. i felt like my eye was drowning. like the tears were seeping behind my eye and into my brain.

though i have to say that the tear thing really distracted me from the tooth/sinus pain.

then the ice pack started leaking. and i'm such a baby i only like to wear one shirt when i'm not feeling good (doc will take it while i'm in the bath and wash it when i'm not looking), so i won't change it and sat with a towel bunched up to dry the shirt, while it was still on me.

tonight's culinary treat awaiting me is mocha slimfast, shaken, not stirred.

BREEDER BINGO!

BREEDER BINGO!

for those who were wondering what the hell i was talking about with being "bingoed" in a previous entry.

a story with a happy ending

in the early nineties i was in a train wreck of a relationship. it was bad. two violent crazy people untreated and feeding on each others' madness. it ended very badly.

during that time i tried to fit in with the family, a sophisticated new york jewish family. i loved the mother, she was the greatest. she, like me, didn't come from money, and we bonded over that.

eventually i realized i couldn't be with Douchebag any longer. during the breakup, i really let the worst of myself out, screaming and flailing incoherently. and even went so far as to take an heirloom bracelet that had been given to me by the patriarch of the family. which didn't make anyone but me happy. i love that bracelet and still treasure it, it is gorgeous and represents the best of times with that family.

other things were good, chocolate raspberry coffee with fresh bagels and genoa salami. their house was incredible to hang out at, they had birds and dogs that i loved.

so anyway, i wrote to the mother recently. i wanted to get rid of the bad blood between us. i don't need anything or want anything from them, i just wanted to write to her and let her know, seven years later, that i am okay and i don't blame her and yada yada.

she wrote back! a nice card. i'm so glad i made the effort to contact her. i told her she was right, and now that i'm on the right medications, my quality of life is much better. i didn't ask about Douchebag because i don't care and she didn't mention him. it was just between us, the way i wanted it to be. i wanted to make up just a little for the mess. and it worked.

which is cool, because i've reached out to a few people lately and been outright ignored. i expected the mom to do the same. but no.

and today i have a bit more faith in humanity.

Your Children Are Destroying the Neighborhood.

McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Your Children Are Destroying the Neighborhood.: "YOUR CHILDREN
ARE DESTROYING
THE NEIGHBORHOOD."

brings us together

since yesterday i've been hanging out on my bed rather than at the computer. the cats have noticed and spend time with me but tonight was really cool, doc and i just sat there next to each other watching tv. sometimes holding hands.

i don't get close to people, physically. there are some neat things about it.

poor doc

he is being so supportive and patient with me, but i saw that instant flash across his face of unabashed shock when he first saw me. i wept into his shoulder that i looked like the elephant man (he said chipmunk girl) and asked for strawberry soda. the meds give me metal mouth and the water makes it worse and makes me nauseous and then i don't eat and i get low blood sugar and get really bitchy and could i please have some pudding.

in return, the moment i can look down and see past my eyelids and cheek, i will iron a few shirts for him.

i'm just pissed because i can't look down and i want to work. i tried doing some editing and other stuff on the computer, but i want to use my hands. bitch bitch bitch. and doc has to spend the next few hours with me awake.

as he pointed out, at least the novacaine sneer is gone, i am no longer billy idol's red headed step sister.

i love my dentist

she called to see how i was doing. the swelling is normal. not comfortable or attractive, but normal. and the pain is nearly gone, so there is nothing to worry about. and i had better take my last week of antibiotics or she is going to come find me. heh.

that is why i go to a children's dentist. i don't mind the kids, i tune them out. and i get a TV in my room and the people all know my history and are very nice and very gentle with me. i have fun and feel comfortable there, and i can't say that about any other doctor. even Doc Rev gives me the willies a bit. just like Doc C before him.

i did get bingoed by the hygenist. it was fun. she didn't get annoying about it, didn't go off about babies and when i explained in my 20 i was raising my brothers and sisters, so i'd already done that, she let it go. even asked about our cats. which doc, being the proud papa he is, went on and on about how fabulous his four legged kids are, even bingoing her, "oh it's different when you have one" . . . i laughed until a second later when it hurt to do that.

you know what would be cool?

a fantasy news network. a channel one can program where greta, anderson cooper and dan abrahms could be together. i would add geraldo and nancy grace for comic relief (you of course could program your own to your liking). can't we do that with DVR or something? i don't have DVR, the cat dropped the DVD player on the floor the other night and i don't have an HD TV. no plasma. unless camel makes them available for camel cash, i don't see myself having any of those things any time soon, either. that is so low on the what-to-spend-money-on list . . . but if i could make a fantasy news network, i might upgrade my cable to DVR.

but hardball, oreilly, larry king and hannity and colmes would be nowhere on the schedule. either too damn boring or too much shouting. same with that guy from CNBC with the tech looking show.

speaking of fantasy channels, anyone have al gore's new broadcast experiment and watched it? what can you tell me about it (and i know people are reading this, it is time for reader participation).

one of those days

welcome to waking up.

splatterhouse: Eyewitness account of the Utah rave bust.

splatterhouse: Eyewitness account of the Utah rave bust.: "Eyewitness account of the Utah rave bust."

what surprises me most is that they got the permits for a rave in utah in the first place. but really, this is just sad. our troops have better things to do.

checking in

so the black eye is not uncommon. it didn't spread as much as the swelling so i'm not too worried about it. talked to a couple of people in the know and it isn't all that unusual. the pain is manageable and i got a little nap. so i know i can sleep.

in other news, doc has finally left the security of marinade behind and switched to dry rubs for the meat he prepares. i can't eat any, obviously (i actually did try to eat a cheesesteak earlier, and ended up splitting my lip open), but it smelled amazing. i can't wait until i can have meat again. he said it was just a salt/pepper/garlic/paprika rub, so it will work with chicken and even fish.

in news of silly self injury, i punched the wall in my sleep (lortab gives me horrible nightmares) and didn't discover it until i was under the florescent lights at the dentist and saw that my hand and knuckles are all discolored. way to go, me. i sleep next to the wall, and was likely flailing around, as i do when i have bad sleep. i was really upset at first, thinking it happened deliberately and i didn't remember doing it. but doc assured me i've not been violent toward myself or him when i've been mad. and i've only been mad once or twice this week. strange. i'm sleeping on the outside tonight.

oops

so yeah, i have a black eye now. i'm going back tomorrow.

i guess my tooth that wouldn't stop bleeding just found another outlet.

advise?

i had two root canals right next to each other. one wouldn't stop bleeding for a while, when it finally did the xrays looked good and everything. the novacaine has worn off now and the swelling is gone, Except for right above the teeth, between my cheek and nose it is really swollen and getting moreso and i'm starting to get a black eye.

should i be concerned or is this normal with the trauma of root canal?

complaining

the pain killers will at some point kill the pain, right?

the next two days are going to suck, but in a week i'll have two bionic teeth.

anticipation

after looking me over and going over the insurance (they pay 80% of the hardcore stuff - bridges, root canals and such - which they bloody well should since we pay through the nose for the coverage). once they got it worked out, they set up a room for me and told me to come back at 2. the doctor who wants to do me (stop snickering) was doing an emergency thing. so, no waiting when i go back. straight to the needles and drills.

the nurse said i could go get something to eat. i asked her if she'd looked at my chart, she glanced at the x-rays and started laughing.

and i have to say the kids that were there were really well behaved. i was glad not to have blue hair though. a captive audience of children with my happy hair, and they want to swing from it. i learned that lesson last year.

chompers

i'm off to the dentist to get more holes drilled in my head. finally.

i anticipate eating many things in the following week.

well then

i decided i don't want to move. and i told doc. it's leeloo. we need to take her in to see a vet. her paw is healing, but she's kind of pale today and her nose, while cool, isn't moist. and i worry about them.

the debt that would be incurred if we move is just too much for me to get behind. i don't really even want to get a house here yet. i want to get on our feet, well, i want to get the cats and the husband in for physicals. take care of ourselves now, while we are on our feet rather than go back into debt to move somewhere with no promise it will get better. we liked it here the first couple of years. the years before i flipped out and started the wheel of medications back up again.

and i think we can love it here again. if we wait until december to move, it will be cooler, easier and cheaper. and we will be out of this neighborhood, which was nice when we got here but has steadily succumbed to the ghetto up the street. another six months here and it will be time to go. and that was our original plan as of last xmas anyway.

so i guess the transition over to here from the livejournal is working. i'm still keeping up there and doing my main writing here. i was intimidated at first to be me in front of a larger arena of people. but it isn't as hard as i made it out to be.

doc is grumpy. he hates sundays.

why is the MSM (main stream media) ignoring iraq? in less than 12 hours, there is a possibility that the government our soldiers have died for and will continue to die for another four years will dissolve. i'd like to hear more about that. because if that happens, i see bad. i see an all out civil war with our people and those of our allies standing in the middle of centuries of hate with no more hope of democracy going batshit crazy because they have no power or jobs or food and things really suck. really, the pope is nice and all but i could care less today, why are they even talking about him?

and lastly, good night old man goes out to HST, who went out with a second bang last night, just as he wanted to.

new things

you had to be here

much celebration as i realized today that my stomach no longer paunches out further than my tits. (how sexy am i now?). so the working out is helping and the weight is still coming off. i'm not doing the scale anymore, there is too much chance of that becoming obsessive, i'd like to be healthy. i don't want to wake up in three months and realize i'm smack in the middle of another eating disorder.

so i haven't come to terms with every little aspect of my "illness", i have come up with detours.

Why Wiccans Suck

http://www.whywiccanssuck.com/

this is a great site!

saturdays suck

today was spent in a lortab haze trying not to worry the disintegrating dental work with my tongue.

so it wasn't a total waste i sat down and made three necklaces and a pair of earrings. doc says my work has gotten much better since i got the table in the studio cleaned off and can work at it again. just wait. i still have an 8 foot table that will go into whatever studio space i end up with. two walls of tables, two of shelves.

i think tonight i will sleep. i'm dead tired of dropping off in my chair from the stupid pain pills. i sucked on some ravioli earlier to get my blood sugar up. doc says tomorrow he's going to get me some raspberry iced tea. tomorrow night i'm going to suck on some home made mac and cheese. i have to remember to super cook the pasta so it doesn't need teeth.

i hate weekends. see, a schedule is everything. things have to stay the same to an extent, or i have a really hard time getting through the day well. TV helps with that. i can tell you what is on what cable news channel most any time of the day and the anchors help guide me through the day. even when the volume is too low to hear (i can't actually listen to the news for 12 hours a day), the tones of the voices are familiar. on the weekends this is all bolluxed and most of the news channels aren't even live, which makes me feel disconnected on the weekends. i hate it. two days of disorientation.

i used to watch a certain series of farscape episodes on the weekends for continuity. that got old after the first year. now i try it with movies but i usually end up confused as to which one is next and screw up the order or forget to change it (so it plays over and over again) or something stupid. i have to have noise around me all of the time. i got a porable CD player to weather time outside and time without power (when it happens it happens for a few hours during thunderstorms).

i've just gotten to the point where i can sleep one night a week with no noise. i've used the TV so long to cover the voices, part of me is terrified that they will come back if i turn off the noise.

stimpy! where are my teeth!

the temporary bridge i have that broke recently is now wanting to come out. i'm not eating solid food until i get to the dentist, which should be monday. all i have to do is call and they will fit me in. since i have the pain and the stuff and everything.

i'm still hoarding my lortabs, knowing they only give two weeks worth after root canals, and i know that won't do it. three weeks will. i don't like them enough to take them enough to get addicted, and i've been on xanax for two years with no addiction problems. i just went a week without it, in fact, since my appointment with doc rev (so named because he reminds me of reverend horton heat) is after they will run out and i was taking lortab, i just stopped the xanax for a while. no adverse effects at all. in fact i didn't get the insomnia until i took a couple of doses over the last couple of days.

i have such an uncomfortable relationship with drugs. while i accept that i need medication to live a full life, and i know it doesn't strip my creativity, i am terrified of becoming addicted, so with some things i tend to under dose myself. like with the xanax or the pain pills. i will always try a hot bath or meditation or aspirin first.

and i avoid addictive street drugs while for years i smoked pot with surprising regularity. when the doctors wanted to replace that (since it is psychotropic) with the xanax and that was hard for me because i wouldn't take enough xanax to mimic the stoner buzz. so it was hard for me to get over the numbing. i just had to learn to feel. that is the hardest part of giving up any drug, willing yourself and allowing yourself to feel whatever comes along. drugs are fighting feelings. that is why quitting is so scary, to me at least.

step three complete

monkeynamedjack.etsy.com

i've listed new things at etsy.com for monkey named jack. this finishes step three of the plan. we're doing well.

sleep and waking

i got doc up and coffee-ed and for work and then passed right out. got myself four hours nice deep sleep. my head shrinker says i need to get seven per every 24 but was never really picky about it being all at once. i used to sleep even more split than this - all the time.

and the real bonus is that doc will be home soon. heh. i slept through most of his shift.

his interview with the phoenix office went well. but he plans to stay here until things are done with the current company, so that puts us moving if we have to at september 30th instead of the first. i am much relieved, but am still holding out hope for staying here. i am so in love with this house i found. there is also the whole "driving us right into debt" thing with the moving that makes it even less appealing to me.

but to be fair, i've given as much thought to decorating the apartment we found in phoenix. it has a really long living room and no dining room so i have to figure out a room divider that allows air circulation. i also plan to paint the wood furniture to match where ever it is we end up. i've got no taste for raw wood or stained wood and i have a couple of really impressive antique pieces i like to use but hate the look of. i need to dumb it down a bit so it doesn't so much clash with the ikea-isms of the bulk of my furniture.

i went to school for interior design for two years, you'd think my own place would be well decorated. yeah, right. you can't even move, we have so much stuff piled up in the living room. boxes of stuff i'm repacking for storage, inventory of craft stuff, mailing packaging . . . ugh. and under it all is some cute stuff.

Feminist Mormon Housewives

Feminist Mormon Housewives

it was women like this i used to get girl crushes on. strong women who are able to reconcile faith with life and find happiness.

those girl crushes led me to, for a long time, try to be one of them. mother, wit, friend, sister and member of the church. that wasn't the way my life was to be, and i am very happy as i am, but i wouldn't complain if i had found a life inside the church. as horrible as it was for me, it is gold to others and i think that is really cool. anyone who can mix religion with today's world and be happy is a hero to me.

kudos for the honesty i see in this blog, and for the topics that keep me rivited, though i'm no longer mormon.

coffee porn

i've just brewed a great big pot of mocha hazelnut coffee. not because i need it, i want it. oh do i want it. i want it so bad i'm going to hold off until the aroma reaches me in here, just to make it that much better when i finally do pour myself a cup. i have my mug all ready, got milk and sugar sitting and waiting to work their magic with this juice of bean and flavor of other things. i may put a half shot of chocolate syrup in, just for a special treat . . .

coffee porn.

you should see me in a bagel shop. coffee and bagel porn.

on another note, i've come to believe that jack takes inventory of the kitchen at night.

death, maybe some taxes

i can't listen to the sheehan stories. her son casey died. that sucks. her commander in cheif was cold. that sucks too.

but "son" and "kasey" don't go together. kasey was my sister, a daughter, it sounds so strange. she died for a stupid reason. it was a senseless and unecessary waste of a valuable human life. she was in a war zone in her own home. she was adopted. there was no reason for her to die other than a bunch of people living together who all want to kill each other. the weakest do not survive. it is meaningless and dumb.

so i get mrs. sheehan. i believe her when she says it isn't about her son casey, it is about the bigger problem and the other 1,800 odd deaths that went with caseys.

i'm just saying . . . i got no funeral, nobody got any closure, no one saw it coming and everyone was devestated. sounds kind of similar. and maybe there is something else she can be doing than what she was doing in crawford. to my mind, crawford is for the residents of it, who pay local taxes, who own and rent land.

because it isn't working. and it won't. there is no way to make anyone happy here. the loss has happened and there is no getting through to the commander in chief unless he wants to be gotten a hold of and i haven't seen that yet. kind of like talking to my dad. you've got a brick wall covered with witless con games and lies. there is no satisfying answer. bush will do what he will do and no power on earth can stop that from happening.

what ever happened to frist? delay? tsunami survivors? oil for food? dear jesus i even miss gannon/guckert.

these all deal with lots of people. lots of stones to turn over, not just one rock headed elected official. many leads, possible answers. we won't get them from bush, so why can the MSM not move on. surely there is a disaster or missing blonde they can attach their suckers to.

you'd think the lortab would eventually knock me out. i guess it is the years of anti psychotics that make me able to stay upright long after my brain has ceased to funcion at optimum.

the wonder of electricity

insomnia 2

so i worked up another necklace in the style of the one below. it kills me not being able to take really good pictures at night. i'm now tapping my toes waiting for the sun to rise so i can go running out to photograph jewelry in the dawn.

it's okay, my neighbors all know i'm nuts. the few who have lived here long enough have seen me hauled out in an ambulance by six cops. those who haven't lived here long enough have heard the story.

and doc thought i was paranoid when i mentioned the downstairs neighbors talking all manner of trash about me. then i took him out to the porch where i was smoking a cigarette and sure enough one was telling the other the ambulance story, though neither have been here long enough.

i am, it would seem, a waste of good pussy. go figure. i thought mental illness was a brain thing.

insomnia

was it last night i was saying i wouldn't mind some insomnia? good job body!

by last month's standards, i'm not even up late. by the current ones, i'm late for bed. that happens when doc's schedule changes.

i worked on more boho hippie jewelry today. and aside from cleaning, that was about it. oh, and the OCD way i change mp3 names, that took a couple of hours.

doc brought home taco bell and i bit down on a crunchy torilla shell a bit wrong. i've been looped out on lortab ever since. tomorrow i make the fateful three root canal appointment. i want to be able to eat again. i'm never hungry, but when i do eat, i'd like my regular selection. i would kill for an everything bagel.

i didn't think ahead and plan for this, so i have no quiet projects worked out. nothing laying out for me to do.

maybe i'll take a hot bath and read some trashy anne rice novel. the hamster doesn't want to come out and play, so hot bath it is.

good night, good weekend.

then jerico

then jerico - first

i could be living in the past, the record i love came out the year i graduated high school, but i am currently obsessed with aquiring the music of Then Jerico.

check out the lead singer, mark shaw, eye candy 80's style.

i ordered CDs through amazon three weeks ago, and i am really hoping they get here before i die. i have no patience for slow shipping.

a better picture

the necklace pictured below



stones, shells, silver, glass on black coated wire links.

Etsy Shop - monkey named jack

the etsy.com shop

it's official!

MonkeyNamedJack.com is now mine!!!

there is a cafepress store of the same name with brand new t-shirts ('it's not the heat, it's the insanity' and 'if you can't beat them, scare the hell out of them) ready to buy.

now i get to switch many things over, but it's mine and i can now refer to it by name and soon it will be up and running! kam316 has been working on the layout and logo, she really is brilliant. i'm so happy.

earth and sea necklace

shell, semi-precious gemstones, glass, black coated wire, coral, hammered silver





the best the earth and sea have to offer

is it over already?

eris came to visit. i made black bean burritos, simple, but filling and pretty good taste wise as well.

then i banished myself from the computer and my room and went into the studio to make another necklace (2 hours it took me, i'll post a picture tomorrow) and some other random stuff.

i was thinking i'd stay up, but when i came back into my room the candle light and incense beg me to stay. so i think i'll go to bed tonight. i miss the insomnia a bit. i get a lot of stuff done.

i finished that journal for the swap today, i have to pack up a bunch of stuff tomorrow for doc to send out.

i also learned that i need to burn some new CDs. my portable doesn't play mp3s and everything i like right now is on the computer. plus last week i ripped a bunch of my CDs that only have a couple of songs i like on them. so i have that to work with too.

boho necklaces

just a couple things i made on cam


shells, silver and acryllic beads, moon charm


hammered silver and wood, sun charm


glass and wood celtic theme

someone gave me a bunch of wood beads and i got some shell beads on sale. the charms are part of my regular reprotoire. thought i'd jump on the boho, hippie, whatever look that is going around.

cydniey is a fabulous disaster: live art cam page

the art cam is on

rock my world

YES!

doc is being kept at work until sept 17th . . . so he will miss the sept 15 training and if we go to phoenix, aim for october first.

though he seems to be warming to the idea of staying here and getting a house. finding one online last night that we love completely and can afford didn't hurt things, either.

things look so much different. maybe visuallizing the phoenix move helped to put it off (things i envision Never happen).

the car is working better. whatever little thing he and D did worked. so thanks to D for that help.

now for the conssummate choice: soap operas with predictable plotlines and horrid overacting, or the BTK case live on the news networks and the predictable commentary and horrid over anylization.

Phuze Designs Martini Organic Glasses

Phuze Designs Martini Organic Glasses: "These fabulous and striking crystal martini glasses will wow one and all"

color me "wowed".

i can still read!

HTML code. i can still read HTML. amazing. just got the google nonsense added to my pages in a way that they match the pages they are on. new and different. we'll see if this helps at all.

i want to fix the chairs now, but there is no floor space here. we've been organizing and piling. then we kind of stopped, frozen with the thought of having to pack it all. i need to break that freeze and get the living room cleared out. i also have a table to paint. would be nice to get these things done.

my mother's floors were always clean and clear of debris. then again my mother was never the sort of woman who would sit on the floor. when you sit on the floor, you do other things. i write in journals and do my best collage on the floor. the table isn't big enough. the floor is. so my floors show the clutter of someone sitting there doing something.

i am forcing myself to stay away from the mail box until after the mail is delivered later today so i have two days worth to get. i'm waiting for these two CDs i bought used to get here and it is taking forever. so to better my odds of the package being here, i'm making myself wait.

oh, the games you can play with my mind, it is nothing but fun in there just waiting to come out.

the trouble with stress

it makes us snap at each other and argue over things that wouldn't ordinarily make us blink. i hate that. i'm ready for the stress to be past. or for it to move on to a new form, maybe a solid one so we know what to concentrate our frustrations on.

because really, i shouldn't have to hate him like this, even if it is for only fifteen minutes.

things to put things in

so i made a vessel necklace and an open free form jewelry box.

google

i got google ad sense installed on all my high traffic pages. maybe it will make a difference. it comes highly recommended and i have a couple pages that get about 10,00 hits a month, so maybe it will and i will be proved slow in the pick up on this one.

anyone else try it? what kind of traffic do you have on the pages you have the ad sense code on? i don't want to know how much you make, just looking for traffic levels of people who participate who are reading this.

today was polymer clay day. i read about some stuff yesterday and tried it out today. i'm so pleased with myself. there will be pictures lately. there will be pictures often, by the way.

Urban Legends Reference Pages: Inboxer Rebellion (Walken for President)

Urban Legends Reference Pages: Inboxer Rebellion (Walken for President): "Claim: Actor Christopher Walken is planning on making a bid for the U.S. presidency in 2008.

Status: False. "

finally. it is settled.

art journal swap

these are a couple of pages from an art journal swap i'm doing.



this is the most work by hand i've done. usually i just collage a few pages. in honor of my new colored pencils, i decided to draw the few things i know how to: vines.

wishcraft

doc is on his way to an interview. i want him to get this. if he hates it, we can always moved to phoenix in a month or two.

he told me to keep working and making things. he says it calms me and that is more important right now than being overrun with inventory. he's so cool.

so i'll sew a few books together today. yesterday i spent a lot of time staring blankly at my monitor. i don't know why. today i feel a bit perkier. every sip of coffee seems to pour strength into me.

has anyone seen my folder of stickers? you may think asking the web is foolish, i counter that loosing a file folder of stickers in the first place is more foolish than anything else i could do. find those today, that would be nice. uh huh.

wanna be sedated

see, the only thing that could turn me away from geodon is facial tics. so we're just going to forget about the last half hour that my eyebrow spent trying to crawl off my face. we will shrug it off as stress related. because if i have to give up the geodon, i will be most put out.

being adult about things

Chaos: "If Bush really wanted to keep children safe from all the senseless stupidity in this word, he would have all public schools and libraries block the .GOV domain."

blech

i am so ready for this moving business to be final. do i clean up the living room or do i pack it? the back and forth is killing me. today new hope of him staying on with his company, in a different department, and in a managerial place. nice. not so much phone but still support. so that is another maybe. that means staying in sin city.

i'm so worn down by the not knowing i don't even care anymore. i can't concentrate, this day was shit. i think i'll blame it on hormones and set tomorrow apart so the same thing doesn't happen. i'm just not the same since drudge got the ads and firefox busting pop-ups.

why can't things just stay mostly the same? not completely. no. i love a good catalyst for change as long as the change doesn't happen all at once. i like to be able to keep up and the move is gonna happen really fast if it happens. no matter how many of the ten days i'll have to prepare for it, i will not be ready and will end up mentally kicking and screaming all the way to phoenix. not cool. i need to keep my shit together. this isn't the huge deal that moving out here from PA was. this is just a few hours away.

alright then

this is officially my new full time online journal. i'm mixing it up. opinion and personal. someone said this would be fun. i don't know about fun but i am getting everything down.

there is also the incentive of the google adsense capabilities.

so long as i can come up with interesting things to tell you. hell, even if i can't.

paper goods

molded paper platter, free form, pre-varnish

cottage

i got an etsy.com account for the new store. i've gone through the ebay fine print and learned what i need to do to get a store on their site for it.

if it wasn't for the move, i could secure the URL, but i'll just keep being dodgy about it until i can set that all up.

kelli is working on the site. i'm working on securing decent photos of my current inventory, and categorizing the stuff already gone for a gallery. the gallery is as important to me as the store. i want to eventually add other artist's work to the site, if even a gallery and link to their own stores. but changing galleries of new work will help keep the site dynamic. we may even offer email.

i'm concentrating on that and on projects that don't produce more inventory until i know what is up with moving. it will be easier by far to transport the materials. and special orders. those come in regularly, nothing big yet, but steady change to get more materials. i have yet to show a profit. though i might be set for the holidays but for a couple of things. i just realized the ornament possibilities that have just opened up to me. yipe.

if we move, i hope it is soon and done and over with. i want to be ready for this holiday season. last year i broke in the whole thing, and managed it all. but this year i want the inventory, but for the personalized things, finished ahead of everything so i can concentrate on eating, putting up lights and shipping.

not all it seems

when i was a kid, i was told that the mormon church was the fastest growing in the world. and while that may have held true then, it doesn't now and the church is experiencing a drop in attendance if not in membership.

of course, getting your name off their rolls is almost impossible, and for a lot of people, more trouble than it is worth

someone said

someone said i should post here and ditch my livejournal habit.

so i'm going to try it for a few days. we'll see if it works out.

for now i'm waiting for daylight so i can make with the hammering again. i have books to bind and chairs to fix and recover.



doc had his phone interview today. i'm looking at moving at the end of the month to arizona. i have no idea how we're going to pull this one out of our asses, it should be an adventure.

we'll have nicely covered and very sturdy chairs.

a few things that aren't happening in aruba

like this in saudi arabia and england

or this regarding the talks with north korea

how about the importance of not letting history repeat itself

or something lighter about your mummy